To my Son -He wanted to share :)

When the test they hand you really sucks

You try real hard but have no luck

When you fall in love with your first mean girl

And get so sad it makes you hurl

When study hall replaces recess

When your brother hugs you while he is a snotty mess

When the cafeteria smells like your dad cooked dinner

When the kid on the bus picks his nose with your finger

When you can’t figure out if you’d rather fight

Than behave yourself and live to see daylight

When you forgot the fundraiser ends today

Grandma will buy but moms running late

Your friends pack up and move really far

You try to daydream and can’t think up one worthy star

I want you to know that I know it’s not easy

To be a little boy with a mom who’s so busy

And yes you’re a turd, but you’re the best one I’ve got

A life without you and I would surely be lost

If you feel unloved by anyone in the world

Please note that my love will carry you still

The absence of your smile is a high cost to pay

To hell with the ones who don’t see it this way

You are becoming a man right in front of my eyes

You make my head big; I am so full of pride

You know I would turn the whole world upside down for you

Cause a scene, Set buildings on fire, just to name a few

If you every think that you just can’t carry on

I promise to muster up whatever you need… my beautiful Son

Batman & balls

Today started off as usual days do, only a few hours later than most and a tad more spunky from the extra sleep. My preschooler was a few hours late to school and because I know my excuses are getting old this week I decided to confirm my son carried my genetics. I advised him to walk in the door slowly and tell the teacher that he was sorry he was late but Batman had come to visit for breakfast. He giggled as I began to sneak quietly towards the front door but not nearly as loud as I giggled when I heard his excited baby voice pierce the hallways, "I saw batman Fools! Heck Ya!" and as simply as it sounds, I knew today my son reached the top of the popularity ladder when I heard the children scramble from their desks for more information.
I could tell you about the bills I paid, the house I cleaned, all of my laundry and the crap ton of work that I did on this very computer but all that pales in comparison to the boy who became a man the same day batman ate brunch with his brother.
On our way to the dentist my 9 year old son asked me if it is going to hurt when he he gets his cavities filled. See, when kids are quiet it is not because they are well behaved but more like they are absorbing what is going on around them. Like a month back when the dentist advised me that he likely would need to sedate my children for $300 non insured dollars a visit (3 visits total), which was also the conversation where I advised the dentist that I procreate super humans and after they age of 5, they can suck it up and take one for the team! I will never lie to my super humans, so I look him square in the eye and say, "Son, its gonna hurt like a son of a bitch! Like the time you thought you knocked your adult tooth out with the tennis ball gun. But only for a few seconds...." My squirm ball son whose ADHD medicine had long since worn off was whining and wiggling, scratching and crying, yet the dentist is looking at ME with a glare like I was about to be grounded to my room. He explained everything with a name to Steven, Mr. Bumpy, Mr. Thirsty yada yada and no one noticed but me that the only thing he didn't introduce was the huge needle that he was hiding in his lap. Yes, hiding! He pinches his cheeks, tells him to close his eyes, picture Mr. Thirsty and take a deep breath. This second in time I either 1. Decided that that was completely dishonest or 2. That I was going to prove my way was better... (Maybe both) and I say, "Steven, he is going to pop you with that needle man, they say the boys who do this without a tear walk out a man!" Well believe it or not, he growled like a beast but he handled his business and every time I saw him wince I would find a new man feature to award him with. "Your leg hair is growing longer" "Son, is that a mustache I see" and when they took his bib off of him he looks up and exclaims, "Mom, I got balls!" and as everyone giggled he walked out like a Boss!
Today's lessons: Just because you don't understand a mothers ways, doesn't mean they're wrong. If it wouldn't work for you try to keep in mind that they are not raising you, they are raising mini versions of themselves. I love my mini me's. I adore the intelligence they carry, their beautiful faces, quick whit, wild imaginations, and comedic ways. They are still working on mastering the art of finding the fine line between blunt and respect. But that is cool, cause sometimes I still think I need a few of those years to learn it well enough to teach it!
I hope everyone had something equally exciting happen today, it is hard to beat batman and balls. Goodnight Bloggers!

Time To.... Unwind

I find myself sitting here, in the same exact spot that I enjoyed this morning while initiating my first blog. This spot is like a magnet to my ass, however only silence activates the desire to be here. Today was productive despite the ultimate desire to do absolutely nothing. Made it the Dr. 5 minutes late which beats having to utilize my standard list of responses to the famous, "you're late" remark. It's sort of like getting pulled over for speeding...

Cop: "You know why you were pulled over right?" 
( Hmmm, how many times is that question answered honestly in a day?)
Speeder: *Silence*
Cop: "You were going 125 in a 30!!"
Speeder: "Me?"

Yes, that one snicker you get in, prior to your required signature on that tiny sheet of paper that ultimately takes a whole paycheck and re-designates it to the next asshole who wants to sit there and wait for your speedometer to malfunction again.
I can never make it anywhere on time...

After my work day I decide to go get a NEW shower head. That gasket, ya, well who wants to take a shot at failing in order to save $29.95? Am I the only one that wanders aimlessly through someone else's local Walmart cursing under my breath about why in the hell every Walmart store is exactly the opposite of the last? If you are wondering why I assume now that it is a master marketing strategy that forces you to walk from one side to the other and get all the things that you never wanted until now! So a shower head, 5 kid shirts, caulking (cause I have time for more projects, and a tool that I will never use... I am free to go home and begin my chores. Kicker? Even though I got off of work early, I am late for my 7 P.M. deadline to pick up the munchkin. No one is shocked except for me. To hell with it, I am too worn out for clever so I resort to, "I am? Well Crap" and run backwards like I have to get to the house before an oncoming tornado hits. I will not pay the $1.00 a minute unless they threaten my life. 
All in All not a bad day at all. The shower sure does look fancy and since he does not blog, my guy will only be told that it takes him longer than I. The house is spotless and I conveniently misplaced the supplies for project "Shower Caulking". At this hour, it starts to sound like a pretty dirty adult project anyway...Goodnight!

Mondays are just days, right?

So today is  Monday, the day no one in their right mind wants to get out of bed. You check your Facebook a few times and scroll thru your text messages just to make sure that your iPhone didn't suddenly forget to notify you of important events, and if that isn't ridiculous enough when you second guess your phone.... you try to estimate exactly how much longer you can "rest" your eyes before becoming late. I do, every morning. They all run together now, and 45 minutes into my morning wake up routine I always suddenly realize that just as yesterday and the day before that, I HAVE NO TIME in my day for anything less than 24 hours. Get up!

I may be extra scared today, my boyfriend is on a hitch in ND and the kids wouldn't go to bed last night. I expect battles guys... Big ones. I had been a single woman for 4 years and it may as well have been my whole life. I got very used to doing the household upkeep all by myself. Four months ago came my Roughneck in shining armor. Greatest, most handiest guy ever, and when he fell from the sky I immediately forgot everything I have ever learned about handiness. I suppose that because of this I deserve the karma of things only breaking down when he leaves town. And now my shower is broke. Couldn't have possibly been the boys shower since they hate taking baths at all and prefer to lick their fingers at the sweatiest moments of the day. Nope, it is Mine! I couldn't begin to tell you how many times during my plumbing attempts I said "F" this, who needs a shower anyway? Well, it's morning and the procrastinator needs one badly.

Today, I have 2 kids to get to school, a Dr. appointment 2 hours away, a full day of bringing home the bacon, a gasket to find, 5- how to videos on you tube to watch for plumbing issues, 20 pep talks I must give myself, dinner to cook, groceries to buy, and lets throw in that good ol super woman promised a bike ride to a few boys that remember things better than a married woman.

I have a plan to accomplish all of my tasks and half of tomorrows, I forgot to include removing my ass from the couch on my check off list, this is going to be a problem. Happy Monday!